The Diary Of A Christine
by L'ange d'Erik
Summary: You've read about the fop and the social recluse, but you couldn't help but notice that there was something missing. You asked for it, so here it is!


_**The Diary Of A Christine **_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Phantom of the Opera, in any of it's incarnations.

**Author's Note: **You've read about the fop and the social recluse, but you couldn't help but notice that there was something missing. You asked for it, so here it is!

**July 1st, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Annoyingly hot summer.

Have commissioned Raoul to serve me lemonade.

Unfortunately, he's gone to the mall.

Was rather distraught after I insulted his bedsheets.

But come on, "My Little Pony"?

Christine

**July 2nd, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Raoul really needs to expand his cooking repertoire beyond lemonade.

Waffles would be nice.

Even toast would be good.

And forget tea, he almost exploded the tea kettle trying to boil water.

Christine

**July 3rd, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Complexion is becoming less-than-glowing.

Suspect it is due to constant mildew exposure.

Raoul says I shouldn't complain, as it's my fault for hanging out in basements all the time.

Well what does he know.

He can't even boil water.

Shall send him to the store for some expensive skin products later.

Christine

**July 5th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Raoul is whining about his lip gloss again.

I swear, he's addicted.

Claims he could quit at any time, but we all know that's a lie, now don't we?

Was invited by Erik to come play foosball some time.

Told him no, as the mildew down there is awful for my complexion.

Erik's company, however, is a great improvement on that of Raoul.

Christine

**July 8th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Raoul ordered more lip gloss.

Has been stinking up the whole opera house with cherry scent.

Said he was going to take me out to dinner tonight.

Was quite disappointed to find that his idea of a dinner out is MacDonald's.

What sort of grown man orders a kids meal?

He had a little too much fun with that toy...

Christine

**July 9th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Opera house smelling of smoke.

Asked Raoul if he had been trying to cook.

Claimed that he wasn't, but I'm not sure I believe him.

After all, the opera house serves good food.

Christine

**July 13th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Erik presented me with a plate of exceptional waffles today.

Could not help but notice how cute he looked with batter on his face.

Did not admit to how wonderful the waffles were.

Do not want him thinking he can seduce me with a mere plate of waffles.

I'm better than that.

In other news, Raoul's home has been filled with crates of cherry lipgloss.

It's kind of disgusting.

Christine

**July 14th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Wow, I really need a waffle.

Raoul wondering why I've been walking around talking about waffles.

Erik does make really amazing waffles though.

Kept telling myself I would not be seduced by waffles.

Walked around repeating it out loud.

Got a few funny looks.

Christine

**July 18th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Chandelier went smush today.

Did the management really think that was the only way to get the dust off?

Honestly...

Erik solemnly swears he didn't do it.

His nose would be longer than Pinnochio's if he actually had one.

Christine

**July 19th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Mentioned the nose thing to Erik.

Apparently I touched a nerve.

Note to self:

Do not bring up the nose.

Or lack thereof.

Christine

**July 20th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Will not be seduced by waffles.

Will not be seduced by waffles.

Will not be seduced by amazing blueberry waffles with fresh vanilla ice cream...

Will not...

Will...

DAMMIT.

Christine

**July 22nd, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Raoul asked me if I was a magical fairy.

Replied by asking him what drug he was on.

The smell of blueberry waffles is constantly wafting up from the basements.

Must not fall prey to waffles, no matter how good they are, or how hot Erik looks while making them.

Christine

**July 23rd, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Walked around repeating my mantra of "Will Not Be Seduced By Waffles"

Raoul has been looking at weird.

Fed him some bunk about how they would make me fat.

He told me I could stand to put on a few pounds.

That bastard.

Christine

**July 24th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Raoul's ponytail is missing.

I find the entire situation quite hilarious.

Raoul has shut himself up in his room all day making flyers.

Suppose I should tell him that should he find it, it's not like he can reattach it anyway.

Christine

**July 28th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Raoul still heartbroken over ponytail.

Noticed Erik wearing it as a mustache.

He tried to convince me that it was a new fashion statement.

Honestly, how dense does he think I am?

Christine

**July 30th, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Gave Raoul some coupons for Herbal Essences shampoo the other day.

Got them from Erik who was trying to bribe me to play foosball.

Like he had to bribe me?

Christine

**July 31st, 1881**

Dear Diary,

Perhaps he should try bribing me with waffles next time.

They're good for just about everything - bribery, seduction.

And they taste amazing.

Christine


End file.
